S A K S H I
I slammed my pen down my mind burning with rage. It was not just rage.
It was hate.
Only for him. Only for that boy who never left a chance to interrupt every possible way of me keeping myself consistently perfect.
Sometimes, I even think that life would have been good if he never came here. In London.
From 2 years, he is coming in my way. We are now in the last year of our college and only I know how I tolerated him the whole 2 years.
It was even hard for me to breathe in his presence. I felt suffocated, depressed and what not.
It is normal. Very normal for a girl who is not just trying to top every year but she is living miles away from her family just to pursue her dreams, her career.
Engineer. That’s what I want to become. I know its nice that I am already doing that but it's not enough for me. Because best is what I want for myself.
Always.
I was the best one from childhood. In sports, in studies, debating, talent shows and many more. But this, this makes me feel that whatever I did was never enough. There are always people who are better than you.
But that's not the matter. The matter is my hate towards him. Its not like I am desperate just to get the 1st remark on my result papers.
No. It's never like this.
The actual thing is him.
Always playing with my mind and heart.
I hate him not because he is better than me but…
But because he is playing with my mind always. My heart starts beating when I see him in those basketball costumes with a basketball in his hand. His team walking beside him while everyone looks at him admiringly.
But does he ever notice me?
I don't really know. He is the most popular guy because he is not just perfect in studies but in everything. That was what sent him here. Our professor also praised him so much the very first day he came here.
Why?
Because he was the only student who came here in this college on his own self. From the very first day of him coming here. I had a crush on him. But I never knew that this will turn into this kind of feeling some day.
I hate him. The only reason is everyone knows me except him.
Actually, the real reason behind this is…I never dared to talk to him ever in my life. Whereas, girls of my class they are too perfect to be noticed by him and to talk to him too.
They talked and he is not like those rude or arrogant type of guys who usually don’t even give a shit to other people’s thinking. He is too different. Different from the others.
He is very calm. Whenever someone gets any doubt in anything he solves it without any bantering. This is what makes him different. Special.
But the actual problem is I never had the courage to start a conversation with him. The conversation that could have burnt even a spark inside his heart for me never happened till now. I regret it, sometimes I think that if I was like those girls too who can talk with him this casually then life would’ve been simple and easy.
But no.
I coudn’t even say a simple ‘hi’ to him just because of my nervousness and the worst part….
The worst part is he never noticed me. I am studying this class from 1 year before him but until now he never even glanced me for once.
And this is what makes me hate him from my whole heart.
“Where are you lost Ms. Sinha?” The professor suddenly snaps taking me out of my whirlwind. I took a deep breath before standing up and saw the whole class looking at me.
“Tell me the answer of this question.” The professor finally asks pointing towards the smart board in which a question’s already written.
I analyse the question properly, my eyes sharp and jaw tight. My eyes move with the flow of the question finding the easiest solution for the moment. My brain starts working faster than it works in unnecessary things and then finally I answer.
“It will be 3 professor.” I answer instantly and the students suddenly starts turning the page of their books to find the answer except one.
Krishna.
That means he already knows. He knows that the question which is being asked is not even present in our books. It is a mental maths asked in different kind of interviews and I found them on internet someday before.
Usually, I don’t only solve our textbooks but try every new books and whatever questions I get. But, Krishna does know about the sum too.
‘Why wouldn’t he? Don’t forget that he is better than you.’ My internal mind mocked me and like always it hurt me but I ignored it.
“Ms. Sinha you’re brilliant. You solved this in less than 2 minutes whereas mostly people take atleast 10 minutes only in analysing the question.” The professor praised and the whole class erupted with the clapping of hands and somewhere I felt proud too.
Everyone were looking at me while my best friend who was sitting just beside me was looking at me adoringly. Her eyes shining with pride but suddenly she signalled me to look forward with her eyes which now held a little bit of mischieviousness.
I finally looked forward and my breath hitched. My throat tightened while my body became frozen.
It was him. Krishna Anand looking at me from forward while his eyes held something…maybe proud.
I couldn’t hold the eye contact for more than 5 seconds and looked here and there. The moment got interrupted by the professor who started giving his lectures again whereas I sat down on my seat, huffing.
“Sakshi, you saw that right? You saw that he was looking at you so admiringly.” Kavya exclaimed as soon as I sat down.
If someone says that this college is in London, thein it will really be unbelievable as the whole college is filled with indian students more than any other.
“Aren't you too overexcited?” I ask raising my eyebrow thinking about what might be going on in her little mischievous brain.
She is to hard to ignore. She is a pookie and that's what made us bestfriends.
The way of her talking, caring and her behavior makes her look too naive. Too innocent.
But she's an opposite of it. She is mischievous, a very big one. Her mind is always spiraling here and there connecting dots that are never meant to.
Once, she told me that she knows about each and every student’s relationship in this college.
Isn't it too shocking?
Yes. It is. I was shocked too when I heard that but now I am very familiar with her this side.
Mischievous yet cute.
“Ms. Sinha, don’t think about him too much otherwise you will absoulutely get scolded by the professor one day.” She again interrupted my thoughts and I turned to her with my lips parted but no words came out.
I didn't knew what to do, or say…
All I knew about was I hate him to the core….or I might just think like this.
Nevermind.
After all the lectures were finished. I wrapped up my bag glancing at the classroom for the last time.
Empty.
Kavya had her class in another section so sje left before and now I was here alone. I finally pulled my bag up hanging it on my shoulder before standing up and started walking.
As I reached the gate of the classroom I looked back when my breath hitched.
Krishna, he was there looking at me with an intensity which made my heart beat faster.
It was now that no one was there then how did he end up here?
‘He may never left the classroom.’ I thought and left the class with fast steps.
I finally reached the bus stop and when rain started pouring and sat on the bench. I looked around but never noticed a person sitting just beside me.
It felt like a known presence. Yes, it felt like someone was there who was known to me.
But I didn’t even dare to look up busy on my phone but the urge inside me never died.
I finally looked up turning around and my breath hitched….
The air around me felt thick and my heart missed a single beat my lips parting.
What is he doing here?
《♡》《♡》《♡》《♡》《♡》《♡》
Hey Butterflies, you can read the first story of this series on wattpad or just comment so that I started publishing it here too✨️!
Take care. Love y'all!
Write a comment ...